This happened awhile ago, but I still think about it almost every time I take exit 20 off 405 south. The same homeless man is almost always standing on the corner of the off ramp at the light. He usually has a sign that says "Homeless and Hungry".
I generally am very skeptical of these people. I think, go get a job, do something besides take advantage of people. I am also confronted with my own fears of ending up like him. I don't think that much actually separates our lives. I am plagued with guilt for not sharing what I have.
My mom gives these people stuff all the time. Never money though. She will hand a half eaten granola bar out the window and they are so appreciative.
I on the other hand deliberated about what I could share for weeks before our next meeting. I finally settled on a big box of Costco crackers. I was nervous as I rolled down my window. He walked up hopefully and I hoisted up my treasure. Surely he had never seen such generosity! His smile quickly turned to a frown. "I cant take that, it is too big" "I could never eat all that."
WHAT? the sign says HUNGRY!! I say, "Oh, well just take one of the little packages then." "No, no, no thanks" he says as he turns away disappointed that I wasn't giving him money I guess.
My gift rejected by a homeless man.
I felt really silly, and also a little vindicated. I don't think this was a good thing to happen to me. Now I have to work twice as hard on my compassion.
Just weird that I couldnt give a hungry man a cracker. Weird.